sunshine & yogurt

 sure smells good.. like fruits and cream to die for. trees were bending to the will of wind and even in the darkest of the night he is shy when he peers only a little over the ledge of the window at her resting on the table and her breath soft.

" i dont mind spending every day.. out in the cold and in the pouring rain.." the small music box on the ledge bleats out in chokes.

as if by magic a relunctant sun got pushed into the dark of the room and illuminated everything, turning soft yogurt a tad sour and watery. he cries for he thinks he destroys everything he touches. yogurt loved him anyways, for in him she could see the best of the room and more..

-j

sin meant what she said

stirred by bad feelings, he was crying and he was laughing it was dark. he sent her a short text and another and hoped for the best, whatever best meant. it didn't go away, paranoia and premunitions in their best, eating little bits into a worn out boy. she reassured him it was noise. ki slept in the warm words of her heart.

another sunny day in an escape, the big empty room, occupied by a big bed that took up little space, ki was collapsed into a black space of time, thinking he may not get up, technology starved escape with all its fun and gore. it was a huge mansion, facing the beautiful end of the west sea. it wasn't a hard thing to be motivated by love, he felt ready to face the world in all its glory, in spades of patches, plasters and glue. this was it, life stripped bare of its complexities, the view, the sea, the air. if only she were there with him it would be perfect but things seldom were.

the dread of idling a day away got ki to his feet, a boy who did whatever he liked, bounded only by the strain in the leg or ache in the back. he wanted her to see it in his eyes. he took pictures. smiles of brothers in far away parts of the other side of the big house got ki through breakfast and swimming, tv, strolling, idling got him through the next part of the day till evening, the bbq. the food, atmosphere and a story about a smoking retard with undeserved recognitions and badges did him in and in hand a bottle of lite beer, ki got into his phone world to share his heart with girl. it wasn't meant to be rehearsed, it was supposed to be a beginning. he got a job, he got a break, he got something to share with someone special. but sin meant what the girl said.

come back kid!

he nods fervently, for he knows the consequences of one's misadventures. a broken heart and a battered soul, it's a day to be forgotten, nothing of much significance to be happy about.

tragedy hit like a skewed baseball from a unassuming pitch and it hit kid hard. a bloodied nose, pain and a little suffocation in the chest no less. kid feels spent, something he hasn't felt for a long time and kid is humbled by his own humanity. he despises it deeply and feels willied.

life doesn't lay out a bed of thornless roses but surely it never made out to be this sobering, he thinks bitterly, as if answers will come as questions flow out of his system. he thinks about her.

there were many times to savour but she was the one who got away. she freaked and memories just fell apart like shattered glass and the sound was crisp. to trust her to steer a ship of emotions steadily is akin to asking a monkey to sing. lets put it this way there wasn't a tune she got right.

so she closed her doors and ran away. it was so simple, yet so devastating. as a come back kid it brings new pits of pangs.. didn't set it out to be a bad ass flick but it turned on him. deservedly so as he knew all about her and he went on anyways. he knew all about the crazy that made her fascinating. so now its time to move aside from her world and live on. a beautiful disaster, a beautiful woman but she needed someone or something else. he didn't deserve her.

and maybe that be the same for some come back kid!